WHAT ARE PEOPLE SAYING ABOUT MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY?
Bravo! Every few pages, I thought that someone with similar childhood experiences would be encouraged or heartened by your story. I much appreciate your straight-out style that gets to the point with neither sugar coating nor exploitation. –Bert P/Marshalltown, 
Your book floored me. It was so well written and I felt like I walked through the whole thing with you. The ending of each chapter kept pulling me into the next one. I didn’t want to stop reading it. I couldn’t put it down. –Rose B/Marquette, 
I couldn’t put your book down. I felt so many emotions reading your book – sadness, shock, anger and most of all have a great respect for you and admired your courage in handling all of these life issues. Thank you for writing such an in depth book, what a wonderful talent. –Ann W/
What an awesome book. I’ve never read a book where I felt so many different emotions. I couldn’t put it down. Vickie S/Gulliver, 
I couldn’t put your book down. It was so well written and you brought everything together so well. You are such a good writer. Lorna B/Manistique, 
Fascinating book. Written in a captivating and prosaic-confident fashion. You know what you are doing. I hope lots of readers will treat themselves to the journey. –Mark W/Savannah, 
What a great book. You are so strong and brave. I can’t believe how many times I thought the next sentence would read that you had a nervous breakdown and had to be committed. I can’t even imagine going through a fraction of the pain you sustained. I can’t believe you made it out alive. The way you handled the Matthew chapter was wonderful, you made the reader understand both sides of the coin, and you were as delicate as possible. I just couldn’t put the book down. You are truly talented. –Tanya J/Lansing, 
I am truly amazed at your life. All I can say is that you must have a strong constitution to have been able to endure so many dreadful secrets. Hopefully others in similar situations will find comfort and hope after reading your biography. Cheers to you on all your accomplishments including what will likely be on the best seller’s list. –Mary S/Lainsburg, 
You are a survivor. I sit in wonder at your internal spirit and how strong you are. I know you are destined to leave your mark in history. –Ralph S/Shelby Township, 
Very powerful book. I applaud your tenacity. –Julie C/Springfield, 
I just finished the book. Very interesting! And Gutsy! I give you an A+ for having the courage to put the words in print and change your life. Looking for more. –Pat B/Manistique, 
Take a bow. Excellent book! I hope it makes the New York Times bestseller list. –Doug W/Grand 
I read your book in one sitting and thoroughly enjoyed it. I could not put it down until I finished it. Your honesty and courage are remarkable. I was totally moved by your story and am positive others will be also. –Kim Dishnow/Sexual Assault Response Program Manager/
The author of this book has been through a long series of humiliations, shocks, defeats, and rebirths. From her earliest years, she was a target for abusive attacks by older children and later by men. Victimized repeatedly, she kept trying to find a way out, but by her own admission, most of her choices were poor ones. She was a good mother and cared for her children, finding in their innocent love a way to fill the void that constantly gnawed at her. Having lost her own mother at an early age, she never felt a sense of being truly valued and sought a way to self-acceptance through the distorted emotional filter of tormented dysfunctional sexual relationships.
Reading I PROMISE NOT TO TELL is like stepping inside a woman’s private confessional, and her private hell. The reader wants to shout, “How can you be so naïve, so stupid?” When a relationship has all the markers for violence, why do women, so many of them, believe that they can miraculously transform a potential batterer, an avowed homosexual, an addict, or an alcoholic? Why do they so often assume that they are to blame, assume that it is they who need to try harder? Yet such scenarios are distressingly typical.
In the case of Brenda Weber, she settled for men who called her vile names, who beat her to quell their private rage. For years she remained with a man who lied to her, neglected her needs, insulted her, and even wore her clothing. Her description of that relationship is in essence a description of most abusive partnerships: “I believed Gregory loved me in his own disillusioned way, but he was incapable of giving and receiving love. He felt anger, resentment, jealousy, and hatred toward me, and I became a threat and reminder of everything he could never be.” She states that “Appearance wise we were a normal healthy family, but no one knew the monster I lived with.” Again and again she finds the strength –or the weakness?- to forgive this “monster,” at times taking her solace in the church and its restriction against divorce.
The bubble bursts when she learns that one of her sons, himself molested by an uncle, has become a molester.
There is agony, defiance, regret, and a hint of redemption in Weber’s book. The reader would like more than a hint. How did the author find the courage to survive, to be able to say, “I am no longer a victim?” Was it through spirituality, or counseling? Was it by writing this book that she clarified her own understandings and came through to a stronger self-image?
The woman on the book’s back cover appears pleasant, with a clear straightforward visage. How did she get from her four-year old tormented and abused self to this calm adult self-portrait? In her book we are shown the rocks on the path, not the path itself or the map to rescue. One wishes to know more, and looks for a sequel.
Barbara Bamberger Scott/Reviewer for Curled Up With a Good Book/Dobson, 
Brenda Weber bears her heart in her work, I Promise Not to Tell.
The story of a woman’s past and the abuse and turmoil she suffered from the hands of those that she entrusted her life to, both as a child and as an adult.
Losing her mother at the tender age of nine, Brenda houses within herself a great feeling of loss and abandonment, insecurity and deep loneliness. All of these imbedded emotions cause her to make unwise decisions leading to more pain and destruction in her already shattered life.
However, all is not lost, as Brenda’s journey finally leads to freedom and peace as she realizes her worth and puts life priorities in order.
A book for all those who have walked the path of abuse in one form or another. A book of sharing the hurts and shouting the victories.
-Shirley Priscilla Johnson/Senior Reviewer/Midwest Book Review/Palatka,
I was lucky enough to get to read I Promise Not to Tell and have to say that not only is Ms. Weber an excellent poet but a fabulous storyteller. I was quickly taken into her autobiography and I couldn’t put her book down, so I read it all in one sitting.
There are many bittersweet moments in this story and most of them are centered on the problems Brenda had experienced, as another reader said, “One woman’s own private hell.” And then I realized that’s what makes her book so good, because she told her story like she saw it.
She didn’t sugarcoat her words; she wrote it like she felt it through her experiences. She survived through many tragedies, and forms of abuse- from family, friends, and then felt the ultimate hurt when someone in her family experiences some of the same problems that she too had gone through.
When she decided to no longer play the victim, I cheered!
This is a dark story that makes you realize that we each have a story to tell with secrets to reveal, shows that we shouldn’t be so quick to judge others, and that we are all human. There is light at the end of the tunnel for Ms. Weber
Brenda’s love possibly was her way to salvation.
While we did see mainly the downside of her life, that is what made this book so real. I’m glad Ms. Weber no longer has to hold her feelings inside and I hope that her story will be able to reach those who need a way out of abuse.
Brenda you are a survivor and I was honored to read your remarkable story!
-Renee Bagley/ the Cutting Edge Review/Texas
What if your husband threatened to cut you into pieces? What if your husband wore your clothes and told you he thought he looked better in them than you did? What if you woke up one night to find the angel of death hovering over your drug-using husband and the next night you saw an angel of God who told you things would be all right?
Disturbing and haunting, the story of Brenda Weber’s abusive relationships and her journey to freedom and inner peace is one that will stay with the reader for a long time.
But what finally brought Brenda around? Where did she get the strength to break free from this cycle of guilt, shame, and abuse? And when her son is later caught up in the same cycle, where does she get the strength to carry on and how does she achieve inner peace?
Ms. Weber deserves applause for her honesty, her willingness to bare her soul, and for writing a book easy for her readers to follow.
Readers can only hope she follows up with a sequel so that others in her situation can draw strength from the same sources she has yet to reveal.
-Kristan Ryan/Editor for A Woman’s Write Author/
Remarkable! Exceptional! One of the best books I have ever read. This is a very great book that any readers can relate to; I strongly recommend it to anyone. Like always, we all have a story to tell and share, that's what the reader did. A very sad story but enjoyable to read. Hopefully, one day 
I just finished your book and my first reaction is wow! You've got a block-buster there and I applaud your courage for writing it. This is a book every parent should read- preferably as soon as they know they will be a parent. I Promise Not to Tell reveals just how vulnerable our children are and how much they need to be protected. You'll be shocked and saddened when you realize the stories that possible lie untold by ordinary people, and that sexual abuse of children may be far more rampant than anyone can know. If you care at all about protecting our children, read this book! -Ruth E. Heidrich, Ph.D./Author of "A Race For Life"/International lecturer/Co-Host for radio show "Nutrition and You" on KWAI-AM in Hawaii/Counselor for the Vegetarian Union of North America
I just wanted to let you know that RecoveryWorld listed your book as one of the two "Summer Reads" for this year. -Joe C/RecoveryWorld
I admire your strength and courage to write your book, I Promise Not to Tell. It just shows that when sometimes we think we can't make it through some of our life's greatest storms, we some how find the strength and courage deep inside to conquer what we thought would certainly be the death of us.
Your book was very touching and I could relate to some of the things you went through as a survivor myself. At times I felt like I was walking through this with you. You are definitely an amazingly strong lady. It brought up a lot of emotions for me of my own abuse issues.
I think your book will be of great help to others. Job well done. -Marie Waldrep/The Mighty Phoenix/Georgia/August 4, 2004
Brenda Weber's book is a gripping, first-person account of a traumatic childhood and the painful aftermath of confusion and victimization that occurs in her adult life. Her story is written in vivid, intense language that may be disturbing to some readers, yet real and validating to others who will resinate with her message.
As you read the story and witness her pain, you are entranced with her ability to survive and move forward in a positive direction in her life, despite the odds. Suspenseful and insightful, Ms. Weber's story, I Promise Not to Tell, provides a firsthand, raw look at child abuse and the road to finding peace in adult life. I would highly recommend this book. -Dr. Angelea Panos, Ph.D/Utah/August 13. 2004
Quite Chilling. -Steve Hamilton/New York Author/September 6, 2004
At 4:00 am I finished the last of 150 pages. Pages that were stark in their honesty and gut-wrenching with their truths.
Brenda Weber shares her story of inherited molestation and abuse that began at the age of four and continued in one form or another well into her adult life. Not until her son, also molested, and also an abuser, is found out, does she realize the pattern. She is not alone.
This book is very important. Women AND men who have ever experienced abuse, sexual or otherwise, will recognize themselves on every page.
Too many times, society inflicts its beliefs on the survivors of abuse, leaving them to feel helpless, hopeless and sometimes, to blame. With I Promise Not to Tell, Weber unveils the truth behind these damaging behaviors.
It's a curse thing. It's a generational-curse thing. It's an inherited thing. Whatever society might want to call it- abuse is a bad thing. And unfortunately, the people who experience abuse go on to be abused more, and sometimes become abusers themselves. They also might pass on behavioral traits to their children, one of those traits being how to be a victim. Victims can become both victim and abuser.
As we journey with Weber along her incredibly honest path of discovery, we learn that her mother was abused. In a flashback, Weber is astonished to discover that she, herself, was molested at the tender age of four. Her subsequent relationships start badly and end badly. She doesn't get it- until she DOES get it.
Readers who have never experienced the cycle of abuse will be irratated with Weber for not making right choices; for playing the victim; for accepting abuse and running from one bad relationship to another.
It is my hope that those same readers, people who have never experienced the cycle of abuse will finally realize that the person inside the storm can't see outside the cloud.
My mother could be the woman in this book. Right down to the bad choices in men, the repeated bad mistakes, and the false hope each new relationship brings. Right down to passing along the behaviors, especially those of being a victim.
Unfortunatley, my mother died without realizing the full dynamics of the demons imposed upon her. We still don't know who it was that molested my mother; she never gave a name. But we do know it affected her life, and the lives of her children. Three out of four children have been divorced. The two girls have made repeated bad decisions concerning men. I am one of them.
Bravo, Ms Weber! Thank you for taking the blinders off and letting the world see the truth. -E. Dian Moore/Hands for Hope/West Virginia/September 24, 2004
I Promise Not To Tell, by Brenda Weber, is a deeply emotional autobiographical work which deals with some of the worlds most explicit taboo subjects such as child abuse, sexual assault, rape, drug abuse, death, alcoholism, suicide, and child neglect. It is even more amazing that this book is an evolving story of a woman coming to grips with the past she is unable to control, yet determined to correct the future for a better life.
The author describes herself as, “…an invisible child-seldom seen, never heard. As an adult, I can either make the invisible child visible, or send her entity into the realm of nonexistence forever. The little girl that haunts my life, by wandering aimlessly through my thoughts, is wearily searching for her own peaceful niche. She will continue to haunt me, unless I make an adult decision to reveal the secrets I promised not to tell- and live with the memories that have been silently waiting for justification.”
However as the reader becomes involved with each equally troubling period in the authors life, hope penetrates even the most difficult of times. The author’s optimistic attitude as a survivor makes the authors life a constant struggle between forward progress and eventual relapse. As a result, the reader becomes tangled with the cycle of abuse from both men and woman, yet the traditional roles of the victim and aggressor and may not appear to be what they seem.
The writing of the book I Promise Not To Tell is clearly an exercise the author used to come to grips with the reality which is her life. Weber writes, “I choose to be brutally honest, not only for healing purposes, but to encourage you to be strong enough to tell. The truth only hurts when we keep it inside and allow it to be our torturous demise.”
This book forces the reader to experience the hardship and struggle that has become the author’s entire life. This is by no means an easy book to read due to the sometimes graphic language, vivid description and adult topics. The writing is short winded and to the point, with thirty-eight small chapters introducing the next period in her life. Nevertheless, it is no doubt that other readers with similar issues of abuse may find this book a good reference to parallel some of their own hidden secrets.
-Kevin Bouchard/BookIdeas/Massachusetts/November 18, 2004 
I wasn't sure what to think of this book when I first picked it up. I thought this was going to be a work of fiction, as it very well could have been, but this is a nonfiction work. This book could be a trigger for people who suffered abuse in their lifetimes. The subject matter is disturbing but handled so truthfully that despite being repulsed by the action; I continued reading because I had grown to care for Brenda.
To say she suffers in this work is an understatement but the way it is written did not force me to pity her. This was her life and as she is telling her story she holds nothing back, there is never an air of self-pity in the voice of the storyteller. Because it is so honest it almost reads like a diary. I think because of this, detail of other characters are lacking which could be a good thing since it make the book more universal.
The only clear character description that is given is that of Brenda herself, who is also the narrator. This bothered me at first, but in the end I felt that it worked for the piece as a whole. This is her story, and we see it all through her eyes; details can be filled in by reaching into our own lives and we become even closer with this woman who's story we are experiencing.
This is a short book, 150 pages, however the subject matter is so heavy that I would not recommend reading it all in one sitting. It took me three days to get through this one, but I always wanted to get back to the story despite the fact that I couldn't handle it all in one bite. This book is not for the faint of heart. -Joslyn Sherry/Women Writers/Albuquerque, NM/ December 3, 2004
I Promise Not to Tell is shocking. What impresses me the most about Brenda Weber is her courage to write the book, still remain in the same small town and hold her head up high knowing that people were talking about it behind her back?
I don't know how the author could have been so strong to live through all she did. God had to be with her and her children for them to still be alive after all they've been through.
I could not put this book down. I tried, but couldn't because this was all happening to someone I knew years ago. It was sad for me to read but it does not make me think any less of the author's family. I just couldn't help being shocked by it all. The author has had a hard life and I'm really proud of her for writing her book.
Brenda Weber seems to have it all together now and I hope this book has helped at least one person, if not several. I hope her and her book get on Oprah. -Pat Moore/Fort Madison, Iowa/ January 7, 2004
A memoir told with conviction, Brenda M Weber has battled her demons and emerged victorious. After the loss of her mother, Brenda, at the age of nine, submerges into a world of loneliness and self-doubt. She wants nothing more than to feel loved, accepted and through her teenage years and adulthood her sense of love and acceptance takes her into a world of sexual misadventures and abuse.
Told with honesty and courage, Brenda paints a dark picture but at the end you are rewarded by Brenda's light - another beacon to help those who may still walk in the shadows of loneliness and self-doubt. I highly recommend this book. -Ricky J Fico/North Las Vegas, NV/ January 11, 2005 
Brenda M. Weber's I Promise Not to Tell is a book that might eventually turn into several novels for this writer. This is both its weakness and its strength.
Weber dedicates Promise to Betty LaPointe, a teacher who taught her that honesty is the most potent instrument in a writer's tool box. LaPointe must have been a remarkable teacher for she taught Weber this essential point as well as the craft of writing clearly.
I Promise Not to Tell is, certainly, brutally honest. The author has lead a life that can, I think, best be described as one from which others in trouble might learn. She has a critical but fair eye for situations and those around her and has also mastered being brutally honest about herself and to herself. Any woman who has lost a parent at a young age, chosen a husband less than wisely, considered suicide, made the mistake of having a child for the sole purpose of reviving a marriage or had an unwise affair will find comfort in this book. For them, as it probably was for the author, it will be therapy in printer's ink.
The weakness of this book is that there is just so much to tell that it reads more like a synopsis than a memoir or novel. I'd love to see Weber take one theme, one section from her amazing life and elaborate--stretch it out so we can see, feel and cry with her. I'd like to see her get in up close, view her stories from less of a distance. If and when she chooses to do this, she may very well have a best-seller on her hands. In the meantime, this volume will do for those seeking affirmation. And that is an achievement for the writer, a boon for the reader.
-Reviewer: Carolyn Howard-Johnson/ Her first novel, This is the Place, and her second book, Harkening: A Collection of Stories Remembered are both award-winners. She speaks on Utah's culture, tolerance and other subjects and has appeared on TV and hundreds of radio stations nationwide. She is an instructor for UCLA Extension's Writer's Program. She was awarded Woman of the Year in Arts and Entertainment by the California Legislature. She has studied writing at Cambridge University in the United Kingdom, UK: Herzen University in St. Petersburg, RU; and Charles University in Prague. Her website is http://carolynhoward-johnson.com
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